Is it true? Are we really in the last week of summer? Is school really about to begin? While I shake my head in disbelief at the speed with which the summer has gone, I am excited about the start of the new school year. As I drove home from the beach the last weekend before we started our administrative meetings, I found myself nostalgically recalling years past and looking forward to the experiences and challenges of another year. You cannot imagine how much I enjoy seeing our Upper School athletes on campus for preseason practice. As tired as some of them are from their practices, they seem excited to be here—or at least, I am excited to see them! Their energy, enthusiasm, warmth, and commitment are inspirational.

I hope that the summer has provided you and your family with opportunities for growth and revitalization. As always, I have loved the slower pace that provided me with more time with my family. I am inspired and confused by the quickness with which our children have grown. It seems as if only yesterday each walk to the beach was complicated by the need to hold hands as we carried chairs, toys, and other paraphernalia with us. Once at the beach, we peered endlessly to be sure that our children were O.K. Now, with our two oldest in Upper School and our youngest entering Middle School, the time this summer was spent more independently, with significantly less concern about any of them in any given moment. As I watched them, they came and went as they pleased, read their books, and threw balls around without any need for involvement from my wife, Sunny, or me. While I must admit to enjoying the new-found freedom that their independence has given us, I savor the memories of the intense interdependence of their younger years.

Of course, with their growth have come similar changes in our other activities together. There is a greater evenness in our abilities, involvement, and interactions. As we play Scrabble, Sunny and I are no longer teaching our kids how to play the game or overtly helping them to spell the biggest word or to develop their strategies; in fact, they spend more of their time helping us. Similarly, the conversations we have are much more balanced and thoughtful; our kids have their own views and express them regularly. In turn, we spend less time pontificating and more time listening. This is reinforcing to Sunny, and me and, I am sure, more enjoyable for our kids, as well as for us. One of the highlights this summer was watching the three of them and one of our dearest friends play Scrabble into the early morning as they discussed the Middle East, terrorism, and other issues.  Sunny and I went to bed with smiles on our faces, and we were fast asleep before they finished playing.

Enjoying the development of our kids is not without its challenges. Implicitly (if not explicitly), there is an ongoing struggle to balance their desire for more independence and our struggle to determine just how much to let them have. Since they no longer need us to do most things, we have to figure out when to interject ourselves into their lives. As they become more independent and strive to spend more time with their friends, we are left wondering how much time is appropriate to require them to be together and with us. Is there a right answer? The older they get, the more complicated this becomes. Perhaps my mother described the process and challenge best when she said of my eight siblings and me, “when you were little, it was little problems . . .” So, while the treks to the beach and other activities demanded more attention and involvement, they were also easier and simpler. Of course, the process is ongoing, and before we know it they will be out of the house. Here is where I am reminded that parenting is the only profession in the world in which all training is retrospective.

Incidentally, in addition to Scrabble, our kids introduced me to a couple of great games for families: Apples to Apples and iMAGiNiff…, both of which are appropriate for a wide range of ages and seem to evoke relatively little angst among the participants. I love them!

In addition to our time on the beach, I thoroughly enjoyed our annual summer visit to New England to visit family and friends. We attended our annual Red Sox game (before they fell apart), got to see a Patriots preseason practice, and visited Faneuil Hall/Quincy Market and the North End, where we consumed thousands of calories in gelato and pastry in a very short period. If you have not been to Boston recently, you might visit the area. I am in awe of the work that they have done connecting Quincy Market to the water front and the North End. It makes passing through easier and more enjoyable. And, if you have the time, take the Freedom Trail; it’s a great day trip. We also spent a few days on Martha’s Vineyard, a place I had not been for about 25 years. Although it can be very busy and congested, there is something about the natural beauty of the island that is calming and revitalizing.

During the time away I got to enjoy a number of books. I recommend Marley and Me: Life and Love with the World’s Worst Dog by John Grogan and Freaknonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner. Marley would be particularly appealing to anyone who has an appreciation for pets. It is about the relationship between a neurotic dog and his owner. Freakonomics gives us a whole different perspective on the use of statistics and information that we take for granted. More than anything, it reinforces the importance of asking questions and analyzing the information that we receive. It is at the center of critical thought and the very basis of the kind of education that we value so much here at Shipley.

As we move into the 2006-07 school year, we remain proud of our mission and committed to appreciating our students as the individuals they are and to doing whatever we can to educate the whole person. Of course, this is a complicated process, but it is made easier when we work together at it. It is my hope that even in the most difficult of situations we can, as our motto suggests, demonstrate Courage for the Deed and Grace for the Doing, as we seek to ask the right questions and do the right things to help our children become the best students and people possible. Let us help them develop the passion, interest, and curiosity to make a difference at Shipley and in the world. May the year be full of productive challenges, good health, and happiness for everyone. I look forward to seeing you all soon.

Warmest regards,

Steve Piltch
Head of School