Although spring break is just a memory, I found it to be an incredibly wonderful and important time. Unlike many of our previous vacations when my entire family spent time together, this year’s break marked a new experience for us.

We were for the first time spread out over three different places. My wife and youngest son were on the Middle School trip to Italy, our daughter was with the girls’ lacrosse team in Florida, and my oldest son and I were left to ourselves at home. Although I loved every minute of the time with my son, I realized that with his going to college in the fall, this type of vacation would become more the norm than the exception. Our family time together will be much more limited and our family unit will be redefined. Although this is a natural process, it’s one I am struggling to make sense of productively. While watching our children grow and move on is natural, it doesn’t mean it’s easy. As their lives change, so do ours. Unfortunately, they may be more ready for it than we are!

During our time together, my son and I spent a couple of days at the beach. It was very relaxing and enjoyable to be there when very few others were around. The town was quiet and the beach calm. It was almost surreal. While there, we saw The Bucket List, starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. It is the story of Nicholson’s Edward Cole and Freeman’s Carter Chambers who are brought together by ill health and fate. The movie follows the development of their relationship and their drive to fulfill the activities on a “bucket list,” a list of things they need to do before they kick the bucket. Over time they begin to deal with some of their inadequacies and to grow. The movie speaks of their pursuit of joy and its effect on them and those around them. They become better and more complete people as a result.

As I walked on the beach and thought about the movie, Nicholson’s and Freeman’s pursuit of happiness reminded me of Ernest Hemingway’s, The Old Man and the Sea, in which the old man, Santiago, strives for fulfillment in a fashion much different from that of most people. The book always reinforces for me the need for all of us to know and understand ourselves before we can find true happiness. In fact, one could argue that all three of these characters, Cole, Chambers, and Santiago, had transformative experiences that made them better, more aware, and more fulfilled. In Abraham Maslow’s terms, they approached self-actualization. As Maslow says of the self-actualized person: “...he has within him a pressure toward unity of personality, toward spontaneous expressiveness, toward full individuality and identity, toward seeing the truth rather than being blind, toward being creative, toward being good…”

As difficult as the self-actualization process is on a personal level, it is even more important that we take the same approach as we look to elect our next president. With primaries still ongoing and the presidential candidates still to be decided, I am intrigued that so much of the process has been about sound bites and reaction and that so little relates to the fulfillment of our needs as a country. In particular, I have been disappointed that there has been so little discussion about either the education or the safety of our youth. As literacy rates continue to drop and violence rates go up, I wonder when we will come to grips with these issues. From an educational perspective, it is evident that the “No Child Left Behind” law, by focusing on tests, deals with the symptoms, not the problems. While our children need to develop the skills that tests assess, it cannot be at the expense of their overall development and, most importantly, their ability to think. As to violence, it seems apparent that until we make the safety of our kids — of our culture — a top priority, we will continue to lose the battle. If we continue to ignore these issues, our children’s social and academic needs will go unmet and their development will be compromised. They will have little chance of finding fulfillment or happiness.
 
On Easter Sunday there were two articles next to each other in the front section of the Inquirer covering these issues. “Productive Partnership Could Be Model for Philadelphia” by Susan Snyder discussed a very successful program in Worcester, MA, where Clark University enjoys a wonderful partnership with University Park Campus School. Through this program, many underprivileged kids have been able to move on to Clark and succeed there and beyond. The article suggests that the model could be helpful to Drexel and U. Penn as they further develop their relationships with the Philadelphia School District.

The second article, “For Gun Runners, a Friend in PA” by Mark Pazlollah, describes the ease with which guns can be purchased and exported from Pennsylvania to areas with more stringent laws, As the Jersey City, New Jersey Mayor, Jeremiah Healey said, “Everyone knows where these guns are ending up. You’re ending up with 15- and 16-year-old kids having guns.” With this in mind, it is especially disconcerting that earlier this month the Pennsylvania House voted down a law that would have required the reporting of handguns that had been lost or stolen even though the legislation was supported by police, prosecutors, and Governor Rendell. I wonder how this could have happened. The extent of this issue nationwide is far graver than one might imagine. Garen Wintemute, M.D., M.P.H., author of “Guns, Fear, the Constitution and the Public’s Health” (published in a recent issue of the New England Journal of Medicine), points out that in 2005 alone almost 31,000 people died from gunshot wounds in this country; of them, over 17,000 were suicides, almost 12,500 were homicides, and fewer than 1,500 were accidental, police-related, or of undetermined intent. This is scary, and I wonder, as an educator and parent, why we choose to avoid or ignore the issue. Unless we deal with it, things will continue to get worse.

At Shipley, we are fortunate not to be restricted by the limitations of “No Child Left Behind” and not to be affected in an overt way by the day-to-day safety concerns in some communities. We can focus more of our efforts on the development of the whole child and better help our students to develop their critical thinking skills and their ability to express their thoughts in spoken and written word. Moreover, we can encourage them to develop a passion for something — it could be art, it could be history, athletics, or anything else. Once they know what that passion is, it has the potential to be transferred to other areas. Ability, passion, and true commitment help our children to find out who they are, where they are going, and how to get there. Ideally, this makes the path through life easier to maneuver and allows our students to develop the skills necessary to deal with the issues they might face.

Finally, here at Shipley it is important for us to acknowledge those people in our community who have brought fulfillment to the School over the years. On Sunday, May 18, from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m., we will acknowledge and celebrate the years that Gil Smith, DeDe Chirgwin Brown, Linda Matthew, George Wrangham, and Warren Young have given to Shipley. Their retirement will mark a new time in their lives and ours. You can R.S.V.P. on our website at www.shipleyschool.org/calendar. Go to the event title in the May calendar. All are welcome.

With warmest regards,

Steven S. Piltch
Head of School

P.S. – Please note that Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, whom I mentioned in my February letter, will be speaking at Baldwin May 8 at 7:30 pm. His topic is “Help Your Child or Teen Learn to Manage Stress and Thrive.” The program is free but registration is required (bforrest@baldwinschool.org or Blake Forrest at 610-525-2700, ext. 275). I highly recommend it.