Have you ever slept with your pajamas on inside-out and backwards and with a spoon under your pillow? If you have, you must have been a student who was hoping for a snow day.

In my thirty plus years as an educator, I had never heard about this superstition until earlier this month, when students throughout our Lower School made it the homework assignment the day before it was to snow. Although I thought they were kidding, at least some of the students (as you can see by the accompanying email and picture) followed through on the assignment and, as one teacher said, received extra credit, as it did snow.

Clearly, although the winter break was only a week away, the day off was needed. As it turned out, although the early morning weather made it necessary to cancel school, the rest of the day was a beautiful one that allowed students from the area to enjoy a more relaxed pace. The joy I saw on their faces as they sledded down the hills with parents and other adults at Bryn Mawr College was energizing. It reinforced the importance of sharing time with our children in less structured and more spontaneous situations and of accessing the fun-loving child in our children and ourselves as often as possible.

Personally, that child was brought out in me over the Thanksgiving break. My wife and children and I went to New York City to enjoy the holiday with extended family and friends. For the first time in my life, I witnessed a parade first-hand. The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade was awesome!

The night before, some of us followed thousands of people around to look at the different floats that were being readied for the parade. As impressive as the floats were, I was more taken by the huge number of people, adults and children, in pursuit of the floats. As I held my daughter’s hand, we overheard discussions about the holiday, favorite floats, and past experiences. Clearly, although this was the first time for us, it was a tradition for many others.

The next morning, I found myself incredibly taken by the events. The streets were lined with people, which made it difficult to move anywhere. The mood was relaxed and comfortable, as people of all ages from all over awaited the proceedings. I got a remarkable surge as I walked down Central Park West and found Scooby-Doo, my all time favorite cartoon character, staring me in the face. It made me smile, and I realized that Scooby and the other floats bond people of different ages and backgrounds together and give us a common experience to talk about, share, and enjoy. Isn’t that what life is about—making connections and sharing experiences across generations? These connections and relationships help to shape our lives and our children’s lives in special ways.

As we think about children and the relationships that most directly influence their lives, we know the importance of adults. The most obvious relationship is the one that develops between parent/guardian and child. Uncles and aunts, family friends, and others can also be important. Here in school, the teacher/coach-student relationship is crucial. There is a wonderful short book about this kind of relationship, Coach, by Michael Lewis (author of Money Ball). In the book, Lewis describes the coach who helped to shape his life. He says of such teachers, “There are teachers with a rare ability to enter a child’s mind. It’s as if their ability to get there at all gives them permission to stay forever.”

In these relationships there are many different lessons that may be taught and learned. Although some of them are obvious and easy to understand, sometimes the lessons may not be known for a long time. Nevertheless, they are remarkably important and can change a person’s life. Lewis recalls a situation in which he had little confidence in himself, in which it was a coach who made the difference. As Lewis writes: “…I have no idea where the man’s intention ended and his instincts took over, but the effect of his performance was to say: ‘there’s no one I’d rather have out here in this life-or-death situation.’ And I believed him.” Some thirty plus years later, Lewis captures the moment in a slightly different and more global manner: “I didn’t have words for it then, but I do now: ‘I am about to show the world, and myself, what I can do.’” This of course, may be the most important lesson a child ever learns. And it’s learned because there is at least one person who has faith in him or her. The book also captures in a poignant and important way the role that many parents play in the changing landscape of high school athletics. It is something that all of us need to think about as we strive to do what is best for our children, not just in athletics or other co-curricular endeavors, but in life.

As we celebrate the holidays of 2005, I hope we can appreciate the influence that we have on our children’s lives. Let us enjoy where they are in the moment and help them develop the confidence and ability to show themselves and the world what they can do.

I look forward to having our students go to sleep with their pajamas on inside-out and backwards in the New Year. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season. May 2006 bring you and yours good health and happiness.

Warmest regards,

Steven S. Piltch
Head of School

 
Sent: Fri 12/9/2005 8:11 AM
To: Reilly, Susan
Subject: It's a snow day!!

Dear Mrs. Reilly,
As you can see I did my homework!!!!

From: Reilly, Susan
Sent: Friday, December 09, 2005 11:39 AM
Subject: RE: It's a snow day!!

Good boy Christian!!! And you get extra credit, because it worked!
Have fun in the SNOW!

See you on Monday, Mrs. Reilly