"Daddy, turn this way just a little. . . . You know, you are looking more and more like grampy." (Since my father passed away about eight years ago, my daughter's recollection of him is based more on the pictures she has seen of him than in her knowledge of him.) As I listened to my daughter's words a couple of weeks ago, the smile on my face belied the ambivalence I was feeling.

For years I have suggested that the reason our eyes begin to go as we approach middle age is so that when we look in the mirror we do not see our parents. Well, in recent weeks I have struggled to read the newspaper and other small print. As much as I have wanted to believe that my eyes are simply tired as we approach the end of the year, I know in my heart that my eyesight is beginning to go. I suspect that my next visit to the eye doctor will result in glasses. No matter how nicely she put it, my daughter was right: I am getting older. This is not news. I have witnessed it in the graying of my hair, the growth of my waistline, and the slowing pace of my runs. It is something that hits all of us at different times and in different ways. It is inevitable.

One thing that makes aging easier for educators in schools is the presence of our students. It is exciting, reinforcing, and important to watch each of them grow individually over his or her time at school. An additional benefit is that teachers and administrators never have to confront aging on a global level. Every year we have the same age children in the school. This allows us to feel their vibrancy and energy and potentially to fool ourselves about where we ourselves are in the aging process.

As parents, at the same time that we confront our aging, it is rewarding and reinforcing to witness the growth of our children. As they develop new skills, greater curiosity, and more confidence, we feel affirmed by the people they are becoming. This allows all of us to focus on that path and to celebrate their growth in the rites of passage that mark the end of the year. Certainly, we will have just that opportunity at our fifth grade Greek Day celebration and our eighth and twelfth grade graduations.

Ironically, while we use these celebrations as benchmarks, they capture only a small piece of our children's growth. As important as our students' time in school is, summer is a a critical period for growth as well. At home, in camp, or at the beach, our children process everything they have learned during the year even though there are no formal classes. Their increased time by themselves, with their families, and in other environments does wonders for their overall development. When they return in September, they will be different people and ready for the challenges of their next experience.

Of course, as our children continue to grow and develop, we as parents face our own challenges, never quite knowing if we are supporting them and/or holding them accountable in the best and most effective ways. Parenting remains the only profession in the world for which all training is retrospective. As a rule, we tend to be the age of our oldest child; for example, our first trip through adolescence is dictated by the ease with which our child goes through it. If he/she struggles, we tend to struggle. If he/she thrives, we tend to have an easier time. Regardless, while our experience with our oldest child helps to shape the process with each ensuing child, we must remember that each child is an individual who will have his/her own experience and may demonstrate different behaviors and emotions.

With that said, parenting (particularly during our children’s adolescence) is a never-ending process that can feel like a one-way train ride through a tunnel without any sense of when the tunnel will end or where the ride will take us. In order to slow the ride down and feel as though we have control of it, it is essential for us to take the time to reflect about our roles as parents and our own growth and development as people. The more comfortable we are with the unpredictability of parenting and our own limitations, the easier it becomes to deal with the situations we face. 

As an institution, the School has been involved in just this process in developing a new strategic plan-one that will reinforce our commitment to our mission and our students and that will direct us in our efforts to meet the needs of our students. In the coming weeks, our Board will be adopting that plan, and a copy of it will be mailed to all families as soon as it is available.

Finally, I want to congratulate all of the members of the senior class on their graduation. I also want to thank every member of this community who has helped us become the school we are. I hope that the summer will provide all of us-children and adults-with thought-provoking and enjoyable time together, full of good health and happiness. My thoughts are with you. Have a great summer!

Warmest regards,

Steven S. Piltch
Head of School