One morning last week as I was walking my dog with the wind howling in our faces, branches falling off the trees, and loose leaves and twigs flying through the air, I thought of Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day. As the story played in my head, it brought back wonderful memories of reading the Winnie the Pooh stories and watching the videos with our children when they were younger. Many of A.A. Milne’s characters, Winnie, Tigger, Piglet, Owl, Rabbit, and Eeyore, came back to life quickly and in a very real way. These characters, all complex, and well developed, elicit strong emotional reactions from us in spite of (or perhaps because of) their foibles and sometimes annoying traits. We love them in part because they are so human; they remind us of ourselves, our family members and friends, and others in the world. In spite of their individual differences and limitations and predisposition to become victims, when they work together (and receive the help of Christopher Robin) each new dilemma becomes a possibility for good. As great friends do, they love each other but also pester one another and get on each other’s nerves. Without knowing it, they rely on each other to see the positive in every situation and to create a healthy sense of community.

As Thanksgiving approaches it seems appropriate to follow the lead of Winnie and his friends. We need to reach out to the people in our lives and to look for ways to turn difficulty into opportunity. Thanksgiving is, after all, a time of reflection and appreciation, a time to put our lives in perspective and to reinforce our commitment to family members and friends. For me, the time with family and friends and the opportunity for reflection are essential condiments for the turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce. All together, they make Thanksgiving my favorite holiday.

Here at school we take the time to celebrate the holiday together at our All School Assembly, where students across the school share their reflections and perspectives. They do readings, sing songs, and exchange ideas. There is a wonderful calming feeling to the assembly when we give thanks for who we are and what we have, and try to reach out to others who may not be as fortunate. It’s all about respect, appreciation, understanding, and giving, not simply at Thanksgiving but every day of the year.

In striving to have this kind of community, we are fortunate to have a talented and committed Diversity Team to help us develop the program for the assembly and to support us on a daily basis. It is the work of this group along with our Service Learning Committee that has resulted in the introduction of A Day of Giving Program, which asks students and parents alike to volunteer some time to local charities during Thanksgiving week.

A special thanks goes to the many individuals who make up the school-wide Diversity Team. Although there are many people involved in the diversity program, currently six of them are acting as point people for our work in this area: Sandi Richards, Jen Groeber, and Sunny Greenberg in the Upper School, Ruth Joray and Beth Boreanaz in the Middle School, and Luis Ottley in the Lower School. Each of these people is passionate, caring, and understanding. Yet, not unlike the characters of Winnie the Pooh, their efforts as a team are far stronger and more compelling than the things any one of them can do individually. Of course, their efforts would be meaningless without the understanding, compassion, and conviction of the entire community. This is what the school is about, and we need to do it together. (Please feel free to contact any of these people with questions or concerns about diversity and/or the quality of community life at Shipley.)  

As we move through Thanksgiving and into the holiday season, it’s important to reinforce our mission and to find ways to make the challenges of life easier to understand and more manageable. In early December there are three evening programs on topics of interest to parents. While I know the timing of these events amid your other responsibilities and obligations makes it impossible to attend all of them, I am hopeful that you may be able to attend at least one of them.

On December 8, at 7:30 p.m., we are co-sponsoring a parent workshop, “Communicating with Your Teenager,” with the Agnes Irwin School. Dr. Victor Shklyarevsky, a well known psychologist who specializes in work with children and adolescents, will be the guest speaker. It will take place in the Avery Silverman Dining Hall on Shipley’s Upper Campus. An invitation to this event was sent home earlier in the month.

On December 9 and 10, at 7:30 p.m., Haverford School will be the host for two different programs. On December 9, there will be a forum titled “Adults and Youth Sports: Who Wins, Who Loses?” sponsored by a number of local independent schools including Shipley. On December 10, the program will be “Success at What Cost? Defining Success and the Pressure it Places on Children and Parents,” sponsored by the Lower Merion-Narberth Coalition. I spoke about the first program at length last month and have included flyers for both of these events. In addition, I have included a brochure from the coalition explaining its purpose. The coalition is a group of professionals and laypeople committed to working together on behalf of our children.

Ironically, as I ask you to come to at least one of these events, I also hope that all of us will find ways to spend time with our children and each other in an extra special way throughout the coming weeks. With the hustle and bustle of the holidays it is possible to be somewhere different every day and night and to miss the very essence of the season, the connections we need to make with our children, family, and friends.

I look forward to seeing you at our holiday concerts and other events, and I hope that your holiday season is full of good health, peace, and joy.

Warmest regards,

Steven S. Piltch
Head of School